Obner's Daily Scientology Affirmation

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 5:47 pm

In order to bring everybody up to speed, the following is the opening post from the old Daily Affirmation thread on KonstantinL's CMJ Refugees Board:

I've been getting the Scientology mag Advance mistakenly delivered to my house for a couple months now. At first I just tossed the things in the recycling bin, but this month I opened it up and started reading. I can't believe what a load of subliterate crap these people have passed off as some form of religion. Travolta and Cruise must be profoundly stupid human beings.

Anyway, there's a section in the mag called OT PHENOMENA - Tales from the other side of the OT levels. It prints letters from the Scientology folks who have become "superior humans" (OT apparently stands for Operating Thetan, which - along with becoming immortal - is one of your goals as a Scientologist). These stories are obviously offered up as "proof" of the OT's superiority to the rest of we mere mortals.

So, for August 1st, 2003, here is the first installment.

Quote:

DEGHOSTING A FILM LOCATION

I work in the film industry and have been to many locations around the country on various productions. Recently we had a location in an old theatre in a small town in Texas. From the moment I walked in, I sensed a very disturbed energy force in the space. I had perceived disembodied thetans before, but this was different. It was loud in a spiritual way.

We went about making our construction modifications and a few of my crew also mentioned a "creepy feeling" in the main auditorium.

One day during lunch, I came back early to see if I could find out what it was with no one else around. I very lightly just pervaded the space. Suddenly all sorts of pictures flew at me. Very loud. Very enturbulated. I was able to isolate a few and got that there had been a shooting in the theatre some 100 or so years earlier. Many people had been shot and the theatre, although not closed down at the time, was always considered haunted ever since.

I just sent out the command "GO!" very Tone 40 about three or four times. Instantly it was quiet. They obeyed.

When the crew returned, someone came in and said "What's different?" I said "What do you mean?" She said, "I don't know. It's quieter in here or something." It definitely was quieter!

S.K. Decantur, Illinois

Scientology Bonus Section - Word of the Day

Enturbulated / adj. nonexistent mangling of turbulent, used in everyday speech most frequently as a means to lend a false air of erudition and wisdom to an otherwise retarded follower of ersatz spirituality. Ant. disenturbulated. See also disenturbulationaryism.

All of the people in this photo are scared, desperate freaks.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 5:51 pm

I fucking hate those people more than Mormons and Pentacostals combined.

What a bunch of schmucks.

HaqDiesel · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 5:52 pm

Oh man I love these.

In New York subways, they're sucking people in with free "stress tests" and hocking copies of "Dianetics."

A Northern Soul · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:23 pm **Posts:** 3742

only a daily affirmation? everybody knows the only way to become an ot is to post an hourly affirmation. heathen!!!

mutty · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 5:56 pm

Wow, it is scary how gullible and dumb people are.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 5:58 pm

Hoooooly crap. I mean, really. "Holy" and "crap." I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was that bad.

Will I ever enjoy Days Of Thunder again?

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 6:00 pm

The Affirmation for February 24, 2005

Quote:

GOOD POSTULATE

I had just completed writing a screenplay and was ready to start "shopping it" around town. I had a list of people to contact to set up appointments and for a few other outflow methods.

I stopped for a second and realized this was the first screenplay I'd written since I completed OT V. I was definitely not the same person compared to the last time I was in a similar work situation and I was just going to postulate what I wanted.

Within 12 hours I had an e-mail. Without going into all the details, let's just say it was exactly what I postulated down to the six-figure offer for the script!

P.W. Los Angeles, CA

Scientology Bonus Section - Phrase Of The Day

outflow methods - the relentless hassling of friends and associates. See also pestering and pledge drives.

BTW - I don't alter or correct any punctuation or grammar.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 6:13 pm

Postulated? POSTULATED?!? Oh sweet baby jeebus. ...(knuckles whitening)...

So, really, it's just a club, right? I mean, it's a club that figured out how to get tax-free status. And once you're in, you get wicked business hookups or something, but the price of admission is claiming to "believe" this crap, and using words like Postulate and Enturbulate, more than once per paragraph if possible.

It's starting to sound like those Jessie Jackson skits on SNL...

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

I saw some people downtown the other day wearing bright pink t-shirts saying something like "Certified Scientologist Minister" - they tried to talk to me. bad idea for them.

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 6:22 pm

I'm feeling enlightened already.

(Thanks, Rad, for bringing these back!!)

drewbeatty · **Joined:** Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:19 pm **Posts:** 238

Man, I forgot how awesome those are. Thanks for the refresh.

Dunwoody Dude · **Joined:** Wed Nov 03, 2004 11:20 am **Posts:** 2869

My wife almost got sucked into this crap when she got out of college. They told her she would have to turn over a portion of her salary to them and she was outta there!

As a side note, I have practiced Transcendental Meditation for about 15 years and lots of people give me hell for it. I will admit that the "ceremony" I had to participate in before I was taught the technique was kinda goofy, but it's nothing like scientology. You learn it and you're out unless you choose differently.

Steve

geoduck · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2005 8:31 pm

I had a conversation with some guy trying to save me recently. He wanted me to pray with him and I told him I'd catch him next time. He kindly informed me that next time would be too late. I guess I'm fucked.

barneyhazelwood · **Joined:** Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:43 pm **Posts:** 100

I took their "personality test" in 1970 (the post-hippie days), and being young, naive, idealistic and interested in the mystical stuff, I signed up. I was easily brainwashed. I had a very weak ego, and it was a pre-cursor to more mental illness for me, which I struggle with today. Communication Course cost $20, then Realization Course was $150. Then for auditing (counseling) they asked me to borrow $1000 from a friend. They helped me to quit college, my friends, and my parents. I got on "staff" there, working for them. We lived like dirty hippies in apartments on the floor. If we didn't hit our sales targets, we wouldn't get paid the approx. $45 per week, but would OWE THEM money. We were trained to get money out of anyone for books or courses: "How much money do you have in your pocket?", "You can write a personal check on this blank piece of paper?", "Here's a phone. Call up a friend and have them bring you some money", and other stuff. We heard wild rumors about the "Sea Org", where you have to sign up via a BILLION YEAR contract !! My best friend entered Scientology at the same time. He was genetically "superior" to me (brains, money, education, professional parents) and he loved to psychologically "torture" and push people: he did VERY WELL in the Church hierarchy, handling real estate and legal affairs for them. A few years later, I left the Church, with a great fear for my safety and sanity. I pursued legal action and got thousands of dollars back. I don't think "insulated" people like celebrities know what goes on behind the scenes. You can Google all this and get all kinds of bad stories.
The only thing I enjoyed was going to the orgs and franchises in Los Angeles and seeing all the HOT-LOOKING staff girls with long-hair and Sea Org-type mini-skirted uniforms.

Billzebub · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:26 pm **Posts:** 6459

Radcliffe Wrote:

Quote:

I just sent out the command "GO!" very Tone 40 about three or four times.

Tone 40...

...a band name for the ages.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:06 pm

The Affirmation for February 25, 2005

Quote:

SHINY OT

My husband is on his OT levels and every day he changes. I had a recent experience with him that really increased my desire to go OT.

I had a huge list of errands for the day and everything perfectly planned out around town for maximum efficiency. The day was going along great until almost my last stop. I was at a gas station and noticed my wallet was missing. I had been to so many places, who knew where I'd left it? I began rethinking my actions, but I just couldn't place it.

Just then my phone rang - it was my husband wanting to know what had happened. I told him I lost my wallet and I was upset because I would have all the hassle of cancelling cards, etc. He said, "Okay, tell me where you went." I did. He said, "Didn't you go to the Dry Cleaners?" "Yes," I replied. "I forgot. That was the first place I went." He went on to say that where I'd left it.

Well, I didn't remember taking it out there at all, in fact, I was sure I didn't because I paid with cash I had in my pocket. He was very Tone 40 that it was there, but I didn't think so. He even said I hadn't taken it out of my purse, it just fell out.

But to appease him, I called the Dry Cleaners. Sure enough, it was there. It had fallen out of my purse when I took the bags of laundry out of the back seat, just as he perceived. Someone turned it in when they found it in the parking lot and dry cleaners were holding it for me. Being OT is a lot less effort than not being OT!

L.C.

Prince of Darkness · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:41 am **Posts:** 11048

Why do OT's bother with dry cleaning? Can't they just hit a Tone 40 and postulate their laundry into a cleaner state of being?

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:22 pm

Logic will get you nowhere with Scientology.

mutty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:43 pm

Probably the dry cleaners called and said they had her wallet, and being the OT superior being that he is, he decided to turn it into a story about how powerful he must be.

south pacific · **Posted:** Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:17 am

epa Wrote:

Why do OT's bother with dry cleaning? Can't they just hit a Tone 40 and postulate their laundry into a cleaner state of being?

LOL!

...and I'm glad Radcliffe brought these back.

A Northern Soul · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:23 pm **Posts:** 3742

i just spent the last hour reading about scientlogy. heres an article about the basis for scientology. hubbard had to be absolutely stoned out of his skull. interesting stuff, but not too believable.

mutty · **Posted:** Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:51 pm

Northern Soul Wrote:

i just spent the last hour reading about scientlogy. heres an article about the basis for scientology. hubbard had to be absolutely stoned out of his skull. interesting stuff, but not too believable.

Then how do you explain the thousands of people who DO believe this crap?

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:59 pm

Max Wrote:

Northern Soul Wrote:

i just spent the last hour reading about scientlogy. heres an article about the basis for scientology. hubbard had to be absolutely stoned out of his skull. interesting stuff, but not too believable.

Then how do you explain the thousands of people who DO believe this crap?

Dude. Travolta got OT levels so high he got hisself a big ass house with a fucking garage for his PLANE. I'm gonna get my enturbulation on.

A Northern Soul · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:23 pm **Posts:** 3742

Max Wrote:

Northern Soul Wrote:

i just spent the last hour reading about scientlogy. heres an article about the basis for scientology. hubbard had to be absolutely stoned out of his skull. interesting stuff, but not too believable.

Then how do you explain the thousands of people who DO believe this crap?

how do you get people do believe in any religion? all religions will inevitably require a leap of faith. some people are willing to do it, some people arent. its all a question of how ready you are to believe.

HaqDiesel · **Posted:** Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:19 pm

At least with most other religions there isn't direct evidence that their main literature was written under the influence of a coctail of stimulants and depressants.

Obner's Daily Scientology Affirmation

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