Obner's Daily Scientology Affirmation

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:43 pm

New mag came in the mail today and I had to share this one:

The Affirmation for October 18, 2007

OT Psych Busting

I have a sister who is not yet in Scientology. One day I decided that those around me needed to lose their reasonableness about psychiatry. Although I didn't voice it to anyone, it was a strong decision I made!

Out of the blue my sister calls me to tell me someone had come to her house doing "door to door psychiatry". She found this person had total criminal tendencies, was in covert hostility and so steered her out of the house. Busy explaining all this to me, my sister announced she was going to start "psych busting" to get rid of them in her city! It was completely coincident with my decision.

H.J.

Bonus Section

Scientology phrase of the day:

"reasonableness" - (yet to be defined by Scientologists)

bluejayway · **Posted:** Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:45 pm

Man, it's been a long time. I needed some affirmation.

DumpJack · **Posted:** Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:46 pm

I definitely need to get back to doing door-to-door psychiatry.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:50 pm

yeah, if you can't trust a door-to-door psychiatrist, who can you trust?

A Northern Soul · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:23 pm **Posts:** 3742

damn, i miss these. keep them coming.

red · **Joined:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:34 am **Posts:** 5009

I just sent a link to the scientology quiz to some coworkers. I hope they fall for it.

http://www.scientology.org/oca.htm

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:41 pm

Nice. And just like I remember 'em. Those fucked up word choices just don't get old. I wonder how Cruise keeps them from slipping out by accident.

harry · **Posted:** Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:08 am

Scientology is secretly owned by Earthlink

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:57 pm

The Affirmation for October 22, 2007

OT Money

My husband and I recently decided to donate $1 million to get LRH's name to all the public in our state and the surrounding areas, by getting LRH books into our state schools and libraries. However, we are just normal people and didn't have a million dollars - not even $100,000! It would have to be created out of thin air!

Well, we figured out $400,000, but still needed the rest. I went to three banks and was turned down by all of them. At the next bank I told the account consultant Tone 40 that I needed the money for my church as soon as possible. (It was a Monday.) She said they would probably be able to help me and to come back the next day.

The next day she said they would do the cycle (wow!) and would Friday be OK to get the check?

This was awesome! We made the whole cycle happen in less than six weeks with all the LRH materials purchased - a total OT win because, remember, we didn't have the money in the first place.

D.Q.

Bonus Section

Scientology phrase of the day:

"do the cycle" - quite possibly a misinterpretation/ mis-hearing of "dupe the psycho".

DumpJack · **Posted:** Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:30 pm

I guess I'm not clear on how getting a bank loan is 'thin air'.

Grape Ripple · **Posted:** Mon Oct 22, 2007 10:57 pm

DumpJack Wrote:

I guess I'm not clear on how getting a bank loan is 'thin air'.

Ha!

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:19 am

DumpJack Wrote:

I guess I'm not clear on how getting a bank loan is 'thin air'.

That's because you're not actually deluded.

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

so the bank employee is named Tone 40?

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:35 am

rparis74 Wrote:

so the bank employee is named Tone 40?

Tony Toni Tone 40

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:45 am

FT · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:02 am

Radcliffe Wrote:

rparis74 Wrote:

so the bank employee is named Tone 40?

Tony Toni Tone 40

If I put on another 90 pounds (OK, WHEN), I'm going to become a Scientologist rapper who exclusively samples late '70s rock bands:

Tōne 440

My first hit will be "Funky Cold Travolta."

no guru · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:23 am

Bobbie, did you know all the words to "Let Her In" when you were a kid?

cuz it's really awful and all

FT · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:51 am

No Guru Wrote:

Bobbie, did you know all the words to "Let Her In" when you were a kid?

cuz it's really awful and all

It was with a "y," not "ie." Nevertheless, while I didn't (and still don't) know the lyrics for Barbarino's big hit, I do remember that clip of him singing it while sitting on a barstool on American Bandstand. He was no David Soul.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Fri Oct 26, 2007 1:06 pm

The Affirmation for October 26, 2007

Bad Phone

Two nights ago my phone crashed. It is a special model and nothing I did fixed it. A major connection to my work, the lack of it gave me a major problem for my production. I called the phone technician and went over the problem - nothing he could do. I called the local customer service to find another phone technician, but he was too far away for me to get there. I tried our local store - they couldn't do anything for me - and yet another phone technician, who said he would have to order a new phone and this would take three business days or longer. So all day I had this big PTP!

However, I had been listening to one of the Universe Processes Lectures where LRH covers the theta-mest theory and the thetan's role in it. By the time I got home I had decided that I should grant beingness and life to my phone and that it was a simple issue that I could probably fix by sheer intention. I then started rebooting it (which I had already done about fifteen times that day). Next thing I know the screen changed color and it started the rebooting cycle and was working again. I was so keyed-out!

B.G.*

Bonus Section

Scientology phrase of the day:

"PTP" - acronym for "Problem That's not a Problem", best demonstrated by the following playlet:

BG: My phone isn't working.

Phone Technician: Then how are we talking?

BG: Um...er... uh... THETANS CONTROL THE MEST UNIVERSE!!!

exeunt

curtain.

* no relation to billy g

Sketch · **Posted:** Fri Oct 26, 2007 1:24 pm

Radcliffe Wrote:

* no relation to billy g

You don't know that. Dude live in SoCal...

nacho · **Posted:** Fri Oct 26, 2007 1:46 pm

Definitely keyed-out. Brilliant.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

have they built that new scientology headquarters in Philly yet?

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

idontlikeyouinthatway Wrote:

The Church of Scientology and Tom Cruise are threatening a $100 million lawsuit against St. Martin's Press and Andrew Morton, publisher and author of, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography. In the explosive new book, Morton claims: Cruise is the second-highest ranking member of The Church of Scientology, Katie Holmes was impregnated with L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm, Cruise had a homosexual encounter on the set of Eyes Wide Shut, Scientologists planted a field of wildflowers in a Scientology enclave outside Los Angeles so Cruise could live out a fantasy of running through it with Nicole Kidman, Scientology forced Cruise to divorce Kidman because she failed to embrace the "religion," and Penelope Cruz and Sofia Vergara were turned off by his complete allegiance to Scientology while Cruise was dating them. New York Daily News reports:

New York Daily News Wrote:

"The book is a vicious and false attack on a man, his religion and his family. I find it disgusting and sick that this author would compare any child to 'Rosemary's Baby,'" Cruise spokesman Paul Bloch told the Daily News yesterday. "The author never interviewed anyone close to Tom Cruise. If they had, there would have been no book to be written."...Top Scientology lawyer Elliot Abelson told The News that Morton's allegations were demonstrably false and published with a reckless disregard for the truth - setting him and his publisher up for big defamation lawsuits. "I underestimated how bad it would be," Abelson said. "There will be a huge swell of resentment that this book even came out."

Three years ago, Tom Cruise was Hollywood's own Midas. Now, he's the gay Darth Vader of Scientology, whose idea of a hot time with his wife involves a needle, some anesthesia, and a lab. Wow. Tom Cruise would seem less crazy if he turned out to be the Zodiac Killer.

Dick Meatwood · **Posted:** Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:15 pm

I know Scientology is nuts and evil, but I'd be really surprised if all of that stuff were true.

But man, imagine how crazy that baby would look.

FT · **Posted:** Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:16 pm

Suri should have been named Elle Ron

Obner's Daily Scientology Affirmation

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