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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:22 pm 
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HaqDiesel Wrote:
At least with most other religions there isn't direct evidence that their main literature was written under the influence of a coctail of stimulants and depressants.


Excepting maybe Mormonism.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:23 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Man, Mormonism is an awesome religion. I think I like making fun of Joseph Smith's story more than Hubbard's.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:30 pm 
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You should read Under the Banner of Heaven By Jon Krakauer. An eye-opening look into the foundation of the mormon fundamentalist movement, and at the beliefs of the early Mormon church.

Krakauer is one of my favorite non-fiction writers. Into Thin Air is the best Everest disaster book ever.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:44 pm 
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Self-Released 7-Inch

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The Mormon's are taking over, they supposedly own some good chunks of real estate. I couldn't deal with the most of thier beliefs but I would be willing to give polygamy a try.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:52 pm 
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Second Album Slump

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Plus they have special secret underwear. Pretty tempting.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 10:02 pm 
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Queen of Obner

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Yeah, the secret underwear. Mega ...uhm...sexy for women. :gag:


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:42 pm 
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frostingspoon
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The Affirmation for March 1, 2005

Quote:
NO WORRIES

Since completing OT IV my perceptions have reached a level I never thought possible. I can very easily perceive another's space and pictures. The other day I was checking out at the grocery store and I knew the checkout person had just gotten some disturbing news about her mother. Her mother had gone in for some tests and the doctors were concerned and scheduled her for more.

I explored further and perceived that the tests would come out negative and her mother would be fine.

I had a casual comm line with her as this was my neighborhood store. I said, "Worried about your mom?" Very distracted, she gave a brief smile at the indication and said, "Yes..." I said, "Don't worry. Really. She's going to be fine. She's healthy." I waited for my change and as I was picking up my bags she asked, "How did you know about my mom?"

B.S.


Editorial note: I did not make up those initials.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:52 pm 
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Major Label Sell Out
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To make Tom Cruise $$$$ I'd convert

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:49 pm 
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Fluke Breakthrough Single
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Quote:
I can very easily perceive another's space and pictures.

yeh, but can you lactate?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 7:34 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Please promise me these won't go away again. This is wonderful. Just when I think things are in the crapper, there's Pseudo-Religion to help me realize how fortunate I've been not to be dumb enough to buy into that crap.

(sigh of relief)

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:07 pm 
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KILLFILED

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bluejayway Wrote:
Plus they have special secret underwear. Pretty tempting.


Does the ladies' version have Donnie Osmond's mug on the crotch?

If so, I would say, More than tempting...


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:00 pm 
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The Affirmation for March 2, 2005

Quote:
CAUSE OVER LIFE

My sister had gotten into a very serious car accident. When the phone rang with the news, I knew immediately what happened. The doctors were saying they didn't expect her to make it through the night. I rushed to the hospital.

I immediately got in comm with her. She did want to make it. As I had been auditing Solo NOTs for a couple of years, I had a good idea of how I could convert this entheta into theta. I told her if that's what she wanted, we'd make it happen.

About two weeks later she returned home. The doctors were calling it a miracle - it was the perfect time to disseminate to them, which I did. My sister is now doing great - better than before the accident in fact. I urge everyone to get into Solo NOTs!

S.A.


Scientology Bonus Section - Words Of The Day

entheta n. The opposite of theta, which is the Scientologists' preferred state of being. See also harsh reality.

disseminate v. to gloat creepily over unprovable, narcissistic notions. Not to be confused with the English disseminate (to scatter about, spread widely).


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:10 pm 
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What the hell is a Solo NOT?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:15 pm 
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frostingspoon
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It's just one of their many training courses. That's how they make their legitimate money, remember. I don't know what NOT stands for, but I assume the OT part of the acronym stands for Operating Thetan.

It might be New Operating Thetan, which would mean that even after you take all of your OT levels, they'd still suck money out of you by offering Solo training.

FWIW, Scientologists love acronyms and jargon.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:55 pm 
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NOT stands for NED [New Era Dianetics] Operating Thetan


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:17 pm 
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Northern Soul Wrote:
NOT stands for NED [New Era Dianetics] Operating Thetan


Jeebus, they have acronyms hidden WITHIN acronyms! Sign me up!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:06 pm 
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Speaking of acronyms, I just set up an additional training classroom in our building for some upcoming printer repair classes, and decided it would be rather cheeky of me to name it...

Auxiliary
Hands
On
Laboratory
Environment

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bendandscoop.com


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:07 pm 
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Ahhh nice. Way to subversively stick it to the man.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 9:37 pm 
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Worldwide Phenomenon

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Man - I've been away from the board for too long. Nice to see that the daily affirmation is back.

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Radcliffe Wrote:
I'm kinda like Jesus in that respect. And Allah. Jesus and Allah all rolled up into a single ball of seething bitter rage.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 3:09 pm 
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frostingspoon
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The Affirmation for March 7, 2005

Quote:
DO WHAT RON SAYS

My older son became very ill and was rushed to the hospital emergency room. Upon arrival, he was unconscious and diagnosed with a virulent illness. I was told by the doctor that he was going to die. Needless to say, I was very enturbulated by this news.

I knew that I couldn't let him die. I have a stable datum that I use when things are not going well and it's, "What would LRH do?" I remembered some data from a lecture where LRH talked about the thetan's ability to heal the body and thought I should apply that data to this situation.

I exteriorized and put myself into my son's body into the specific areas that were affected. I could perceive the bacteria floating in his bloodstream. I concentrated on flowing energy through his bloodstream and body and did this throughout the remainder of the day.

The disease my son had was very serious. It's typically fatal in 24-36 hours after it's contracted. When we brought him into the hospital he was literally a few hours away from dropping his body.

The next morning he regained consciousness. I gave him touch assists. A few days later, when the doctor came in, he remarked at how amazing it was that he made a complete recovery with no ill effects. The doctor's explanation was that he must have an amazing immune system, but I knew better.

A.W.


Scientology Alert:

"I exteriorized and put myself into my son's body" ILLEGAL IN SOME STATES


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 3:23 pm 
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frostingspoon
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WWLRHD? I'm pretty sure that no disease fits her description. I think those touch-assists may be illegal too.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 4:52 pm 
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only if you get caught....:wink: thanks radcliffe. these never fail to amuse. or stupify.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 4:58 pm 
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Color me enturbulated.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 4:09 pm 
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frostingspoon
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New issue finally arrived! Slightly new format too. Those crazy Scientologists, always attracted to change...

The Affirmation for March 31, 2005

Quote:
New OT V has given me my innermost desires. It has resolved situations and conditions that did not resolve by any other means, and many that I had not even identified. From my first session to my very last, it pushed the quality of my existence up and up and up again in leaps and bounds.

It is true that the quantity of gain produced on this level is far in excess of that achieved in all prior levels combined, and that frequently this magnitude occurs in a single session.

Every Scientologist, no matter where they are on The Bridge, needs to see that they and others speed up The Bridge and onto and through this level. Make it the top priority!

Y.V.


Editorial Interjection:

That affirmation totally sucked. It's just blatant advertising for a fucking seminar. This new issue had better improve drastically (and fast) or I'll make a postulate to cancel my non-subscription - and I've been a faithful non-subscriber for a couple years now.


Last edited by Radcliffe on Thu Mar 31, 2005 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 4:15 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Piss-poor content notwithstanding, these make my week, cliffe.

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[quote="Bloor"]He's either done too much and should stay out of the economy, done too little because unemployment isn't 0%, is a dumb ingrate who wasn't ready for the job or a brilliant mastermind who has taken over all aspects of our lives and is transforming us into a Stalinist style penal economy where Christian Whites are fed into meat grinders. Very confusing[/quote]


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